is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
