thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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