yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I'm having to shit out rocks
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