i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
