if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
