I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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