I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
