he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
So much Jack, so little girl.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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