Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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