PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
