where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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