Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
