it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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