He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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