I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
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