I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize