school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
he was CRYING into my vagina
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
