Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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