i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
