She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
ok first of all what the fuck
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
