i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
