K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I would ride that face into the sunset
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
