She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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