My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
