So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
