Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
