woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Randomize
