I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
