I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
