rhymes with "ouble enetration"
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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