he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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