So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
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