This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
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