she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
