i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
