Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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