Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Pooping to opera.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
