please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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