is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
