belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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