remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
