Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
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