He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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