He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
