Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
