Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize