Don't you send me to vm
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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