Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
