dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Randomize
