Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
