I looked at my own cervix.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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