I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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