i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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