it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
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