Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize