found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.