I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
He had some BAD nuttage
It's like cleavage......... but different
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He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
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you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.