You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
either way he was missing a nipple.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER