So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him