im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?