Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.