party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
