and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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