my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
