You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
