so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
